


Forever and Always

by Nothingbutaboy



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Self-Doubt, moxiety - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 21:11:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16205750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nothingbutaboy/pseuds/Nothingbutaboy
Summary: Virgil wants Patton more than anything because Patton is Virgil's light in this dark, dismal world.





	Forever and Always

Virgil was stressed.

Not like that’s new, though. He was used to the feeling of his guts twisting and the sickly feeling of doom crawling all over his body like spiders. Numbness spreading all over his body rendering him completely immobile as panicked and hasty breaths slipped past his lips. 

It was all apart of the routine, he told himself solemnly. That it would never change and he’d remain so broken. There was no sunshine in the world, he thought, only the illusion of happiness until the storm rolls in. It was inevitable; the negative would always overpower the good. At least, that’s what he used to believe.

Now, someone so happy, caring, and selfless brightened Virgil’s world. Now, things were different. It felt as if - for the first time in forever - Virgil could breathe. It was all thanks to him and his smile.

“Hey, Kiddo! How’s it going? You haven’t been talking much today,” Patton chirped.

Virgil shrugged, “Just thinking about some things, Patton.”

“Oh,” Patton smiled, “well, if you ever want to talk to me just give me a pat on the back!”

Virgil smirked and nodded, “Of course.”

Those thoughts would never leave, though, and it felt as if he was starting to burden Patton. As if all the times Patton smiled and asked him for his opinion just attempted to make Virgil more like the others and less anxious. That wasn’t the case, Virgil told himself, he knew Patton was sweeter than any candy, cake, or chocolate. But still, the worries - the irrational fears - crept into Virgil’s mind and ate at him.

Virgil was stressed.

He was worried that his dearest friend would ditch him. That Patton had only done those things out of pity. That Patton would find someone less clingy - less dependent. Virgil felt that boulder drop in his stomach and the feeling of powerlessness encompass him. His throat began to tighten and he felt the tears pooling at his eyes. 

Virgil’s sobs alerted Patton who barreled to his bedroom door and began knocking. “Kiddo? What’s going on?”

Virgil didn’t answer the door; he couldn’t. It felt as if his legs had fallen off, but Patton’s voice sent those pleasant shivers down his spine and warmed his heart. The worry in Patton’s voice reminded the remaining sane part of Virgil’s brain that Patton loved him and cared.

The door opened and Patton entered. He approached Virgil hastily which only panicked Virgil more. “Hey, hey, shhh. It’s okay, Kiddo. It’ll be okay. Just breathe with me, Virge.”

Slowly, Virgil’s breathing evened out and his heart rate slowed. “Thank you, Patton. Thank you so much,” Virgil choked out.

Virgil was happy after that.

Of course, he had bad days, but who doesn’t? Patton had always cared and always will care. Most importantly, it didn’t matter that he gave all the sides his love because Virgil knows that Patton put all his love into everyone. At first, that ticked Virgil off - wanting to be special - but he learned that he was special to Patton. That Patton loved him more than the moon and the sun and the Earth could say.

But, there was a tiny, itty-bitty, teeny-weensy problem. Virgil wanted more than a friendship with Patton. He wanted to be able to caress his face and bring it closer and kiss the adorable incarnate of Morality and Feeling. Patton was the best thing in his life, though, and Virgil couldn’t lose that. It was imperative that he and Patton remain close or Virgil would surely lose it.

Patton stood next to Virgil - so close that their shoulders were brushing up against each other - and he sighed and smiled, “Anything on your mind?”

“Always,” Virgil sarcastically responded.

“Really?” Patton smiled at Virgil, “Cause’ I don’t see anything!” Patton pressed his finger on Virgil’s forehead.

Virgil let out a noise resembling that of a laugh, but not quite. Patton, however, took it as a laugh and his smile - though Logan would tell you it’s impossible - brightened.

“That’s a good one,” Virgil smiled and rubbed where Patton’s finger had previously been.

Patton giggled, “Aw, Kiddo! Thank you!”

Virgil’s smile dimmed; there was no way such a pure being could love him.

“Something wrong?” Patton asked softly.

Of course, Patton could immediately sense Virgil’s discomfort.

Virgil sighed, “Okay, hypothetically… Do you ever love someone - in a boyfriend kind of way - but you know they don’t feel the same way about you?”

“You don’t know they don’t feel the same way,” Patton responded.

Virgil’s shoulders slumped and muttered, “Trust me, Pat, someone like them could never love someone like me.”

“Now, Virgil, don’t talk about yourself like that,” Patton sternly said, “you are quite the catch. I’m sure any guy would love to get you. You are the Gerard Way to someone’s Frank Iero.”

Virgil blushed, “Thanks, but-”

“No buts,” Patton cut Virgil off, “they are inappropriate.”

Virgil sighed, “Patton… It’s just… I don’t want to ruin what we- I mean… I-I just… I’m afraid, Patton.”

The slip up didn’t go unnoticed, but Patton decided it best to comfort Virgil rather than confront him. “Don’t be,” Patton soothed, “whoever he may be he is sure to love you no matter what. I know that for certain.”

Virgil shyly nodded and looked at him, “I don’t know… I’m just so scared and so… so... “ 

“I understand,” Patton softly said and he pulled Virgil in for a hug.

Virgil began crying into Patton’s shoulder. These feelings were too much for him; the worry, the happiness, the dread, and the excitement.

Virgil whimpered, “I just want them to love me back.”

Virgil hesitantly looked up at Patton who was giving him a reassuring smile. “Patton, I-I love you. I love you so much and it hurts me.”

Patton kissed the top of Virgil’s head. “I’ll always love you, Virge.”

Virgil looked at him hopefully, “I’ll always love you too.”

Patton brought Virgil’s forehead to his and whispered, “Be my boyfriend?”

Virgil closed his eyes and sighed, “Yes. Forever and always.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know. It's trash, but it's okay because I've been reading a lot of H E A V Y A N G S T stuff and I needed a little pick me up. Also, I don't see a lot of Moxiety (Patton/Anxiety), so I figured I'd write some myself. Anywho, leave a lil comment if you liked it or if you didn't I'd love to hear your criticisms.
> 
> Thank you, guy, gal, or non-binary pal for reading my story!


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